The Gnome at the Bottom of the Garden

So, last night I let the dog out for a run before locking him in the laundry for the night. While waiting for him, I spied a spider walking ever so casually towards our back door. It wasn’t a big spider – but it wasn’t small either. A juvenile wolf spider – about 1” across. So I did what any self respecting person would do when threatened. I dropped that sucker with size 9 ROC boot (that was still attached to my foot).

After defending myself so admirably, I looked down.  There was no. spider. guts. on. the. path. I couldn’t see any spider guts on the Size 9 either. That could only mean that the spider had jumped up and was now crawling up my leg. I ran inside, flicking my legs as I went like some sort of maniac afflicted with St Vitus’ Dance. Pants off and inspected – no spider. Bugger. Probably slunk off somewhere to avoid getting stomped on again.

But today I have another problem. Turns out I did squish the little bugger and on closer inspection, there is a considerable amount of spider bits stuck in the tread of my boots. I can see eyes and fangs (well, they are probably just palps – but they look very fangy). And now I have to wear them. To Work. With spider guts in them. I feel creepy. Shudder.